Cleaning Broken Things


I’m cleaning all our broken things, in hopes they’ll spontaneous un-break themselves. I’d settle for a temporary reprieve, just time enough for me to decide how to replace them. So wiping, washing, vacuuming and polishing I whisper, C’mon you’ve got a few more miles or days in you…but my reeks-of-coolant car and my warm fridge don’t answer back.

Our car, a 2003 silver Civic, has been overheating (periodically) for months, even though I frequently top off the coolant and tighten down its shiny new radiator cap. The original diagnosis—a blown head gasket—a grand-plus repair job. Eek. Really? That’s about the car’s trade-in value. So, armed with the mechanic’s bad news and the knowledge of my meager retirement account, I suggest less expensive possibilities. After all there’s no white smoke coming out the tail pipe or tell-tale clacking sounds, as skeptical friends have pointed out. The nice gray-haired mechanic with the grease-stained hands and smart-as-a-whip eyes only nods at my alternate realities, while dropping the new cap into my hand. He knows I’ll be back.

Then there’s the refrigerator, which creeps up to a balmy fifty-five while the freezer sinks to a frigid twenty below. After YouTube-ing the situation we diagnosed the problem as a bad defroster coil, but that doesn’t explain the ice in the bottom of the freezer…so I poured boiling hot water into the freezer’s drain and later that evening the fridge got a little cooler, 48-ish, and the freezer crept slightly above temperatures found on the scientist’s Kelvin scale. Remember absolute zero from science class? Alas, like the car, the fix only sort of worked.

So I wipe the smudges of the glass shelves of the Hawaii-warm fridge, which may be festering a hearty strain of kill-you bacteria. At least it’s clean. Reminds me of the advice: “Always wear fresh undies, because you never know!”

Cheers lovelies.

Love and Lettuce,

School, Angst and a Life Path that Works

Yellow Flower Aug 2011

Well, as many of you know I’m in school, and spring break started for me yesterday at about two in the afternoon, when I finished my biology exam. I am grateful for my learning experience and how it’s changing me, in ways that go so far beyond acquiring knowledge.

This term I finished my AAOT. In addition to Evolutionary Biology, I took my last math class. I also dove deeper into my writing with a creative fiction class. School has also been rich with spirit connections and diverse social experiences, eh, really diverse.

Today, a handsome, warm, accomplished man is taking me to lunch to celebrate what he calls my “beautiful work.” I’m so excited, because this hasn’t been a simple path for me.

I’ve always had this fear I was on the wrong path, with the wrong guy, or somehow just living the wrong life. Last term, I thought, “What if I thought, just for one three month stretch, I was on the right path?” So, I took that road. For that small window of time, I chose to believe. I chose to not be afraid. And you know, it worked for me. I found I was happier. I was more creative. I started taking on life like I do food: one big experimental, joyful romp.

For this next term, that same beautiful man mentioned above suggested I step it up one more notch. For this upcoming session, maybe, I could TRUST that I’m on the right path.

Hmmm… maybe he’s got something: Trust.