The view from here is good, at least right at this moment.
The photo is of a place called Boston Harbor, but strangely it’s actually located in South Puget Sound, near Olympia Washington, the opposite shore, clear on the other side of the United States, from Massachusetts. The moment I snapped that picture was just a little over a month ago, at the end of June. It was a ridiculously gorgeous day, especially for Western Washington. You guys know all the rain jokes about Seattle, right?
That day it was my friend’s birthday and the next day I would reunite with my father, after a decade of estrangement. An apt word: estrangement. Separation between loved ones IS “strange,” indeed, not all the natural, healthy, good and right state of things.
In the last month, since I took that photograph, I learned some things about life and what works for me. I embraced my Dad that weekend. Today, we’re talking again. My heart is open in a way that has sent ripples through the changeable liquid state of my world.
Then, I did a needed letting go of my beautiful friend, allowing a stirring in my life that is more deeply authentic. The settling of that reality is filtering down, like rain, beautiful life giving, irritating, inconvenient rain. The weather is beautiful in the picture above. Where I reside now is a bit sodden and wet-dog smelling, but also rich in connection and new energy. No postcards from places like this.
Last Sunday it was a gummi bears and chocolate for breakfast, sort of day. A day of diving into murky places I had been avoiding, at least to some degree. I pondered that day: Do I really want this healthy change? What will it really cost me?
What will this change really look like?
I think the emotions of our personal journeys are sprinkled in with the healthy physical manifestation we are trying to create. Life and change: It’s a messy, ooey-gooey experience. We had probably better get used to it.
So, life went on. Every day I made a choice.
Even when I felt weary, I kept doing yoga. I kept lifting weights and riding my bike.
I kept eating vegetables, even when I had devoured a whole bag of naturally-colored, real-fruit flavored gummi bears. (Trader Joe’s)
I kept refraining from grain, alcohol and dairy, which to be honest, none of which even look good to me at this point. Cravings do go away!
I increased my writing and meditation practice, even when I felt like I had nothing to say.
What happened over the last week was I got stronger, in every way. I realized there were some things I was better off living without. And, other things I could never part with: Family. Healthy practices. Honor. And, telling the truth, especially to myself. And, damn, my calves look amazing!
The view from here is good, Lovelies. I am still here. YOU are still here.
Wishing you all the twists and turns and rain and sunshine that find you on your beautiful, convoluted, uniquely-yours journey.
Be Very Well,