Fly Away


Years ago when my daughter Liss and her friend Kaylee were in Girl Scouts, Kaylee’s Grandma and Grandpa, the troop leaders, got the makings for bird houses from the Fish and Wildlife. I think Liss gave me the one she put together for Christmas that year. Anyway I nailed the thing up on an old juniper in the front yard and these last couple of years little birds have nested out there.

These last few weeks as I’ve sat on my couch writing, hungry chicks have loudly squawked right outside my living room window, Sometimes I’ve turned in surprise. So loud. Other moments I’ve smiled in delight, watching.

At first they were only beige featherless things, beaks open wide in hunger. Now they are fully feathered, with dark and shiny eyes, nearly ready for flight. Too soon is my first thought.. Then I sigh and give in to what must come.

Go ahead. Fly away sweet ones. We’ll be okay. But we’ll miss you. We’ll miss you so so much.

Love and Lettuce,
Eulogy writer at

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You have a vegan birthday?

2013-05-16 07.56.21

July 23rd, this last Saturday, was my first vegan birthday. It’s been an adventure. Surprisingly easy, natural, like this is the way I always was. I really had all these great vegan meals under all the gook I was throwing on top of my veggies. This life is healthier for me, kinder to animals, better for the planet. Win. Win. Win. And as delicious as I want it to be!!

Cheers lovelies, to our health, to kindness, to the planet!

Love and lettuce,

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Love Anyway


We did make it. San Diego is lush-ocean, palm-tree wonderful. Been fun seeing his family. I’m sitting in our rental car at the disc golf course in Balboa Park, alone. Morely it’s called. The sprinklers are going. It’s quiet, except for the constant whoosh of traffic and the chik-chik-chik of of the old fashioned watering system. I’m munching a bag of power greens and dark chocolate thinking about what he said.

It’s beautiful here. It really is. No matter what I’m glad I came. And right now, I’m going to brave those sprinklers and rip me off a few.

A toast lovelies, to I don’t know what. Maybe just lettin’ ‘er fly.

Love and lettuce,

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Super Easy This Vegan Thing


Getting vegan lean over here. This is my simple combo:

A pile of non-starchy veggies
A bed of greens
3/4 cup of beans
1/2 cup pseudo grain (quinoa, buckwheat, wild rice or amaranth)
2 Tablespoons hemp hearts
10 nuts (love hazelnuts)
Nutritional yeast
Maybe a couple dashes of Braggs

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I’ll Always Have Your Back Kind of Love

Now moving into the light and delicious “I’ll always have your back” kind of love—a lively partnership, a stable sane love, deep soulful connection.

We, you and me, make plans. We co-parent with our former spouses. If something comes up, maybe at a family meeting or in casual conversation, before we commit we might say, “That might work. I’ll check with…” Or: “Hey cool. I’ll see what Kathryn and I come up with.”

We don’t go to our ex’s for advice. We find best friends, coworkers and each other, because we rest in our own dignity and innate appropriateness. By refraining from this emotional intimacy with our ex, we also honor our current relationship and give space for conscious love. And finally, we allow our former spouse room to live in a new way without us, and give them room to bond again. Really “being there” might be being there less.

We knock on our former spouse’s door and wait for an answer. We respect their privacy because it’s just cool and right. We want to be whole and happy, not sloppy and fumbling. We want our kids on solid ground, knowing what’s cool. And what’s definitely not.

The “drop off the kids” times are friendly, but brief, with the focus on the kids. “Hey Cindy’s got some new moves in aerial. Check it out.” Or “Hey, Reba’s got a funny story about…” In the beginning while feeling around for a respectful groove, maybe just smile and stand close to the door. With words and body language say, “I respect you. I respect myself. I’m cool with this new way of being with you.” That clarity and “can do” lightness brings in the fresh air of moving on and “it’s all going to be just fine” that we, and the kids need.

We don’t go on vacations or spend the night with our ex’s, even if “nothing” is ever going to happen. Nope. Because we respect ourselves, it doesn’t even come up. And if by chance it does, by saying no, we’re saying “I set you free, both to love and to move on without me. I also don’t need you to need me. I believe in your ability to take care of yourself. And, I respect my new love.”

I’m ready to love, all big and luscious—because this relationship is safe, sane and respectful. I’m ready to build a deeper level of personal dignity by knocking first and keeping it brief and friendly. I include my soul friend/love in decision making, saying to whoever is in front of me, “Cool I’ll talk to…” I don’t spend the night or go on vacations with my spouse, though I’m naturally inclusive. “Come over on Christmas! Have one of Sarah’s cookies! Stay for a hand of poker.” I accept that we have a new way of being a family.

A toast lovelies,
To being the best version of ourselves.
To that “I’ll Always Have Your Back” kind of love.

Love and Lettuce,

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I Don’t Want To Know and Other Excuses


How many times do we look the other way because we don’t want to know? Or we don’t feel ready to do anything about it?

I’m trying, as a personal evolution experiment, to notice when I’m avoiding. Maybe the reality of a thing seems too wrong, too awful, too overwhelming. Maybe it seems I can’t make a difference. Maybe it seems the whole world thinks it’s okay. Even so, I think I’ll take a little gander anyway. Something in me knows. Mine as well just give it a go.

I’m not ready to make the change, some say. For me, I no longer want to use that excuse. So, I’m looking: Animal agriculture. We all have some inkling. Don’t we? But, I can’t give up meat, I hear some say. Another says: I can’t give up dairy. But, I can’t…I can’t. I think we owe it to ourselves to at least know what choice we’re really making. We are more than the sum of our indoctrinations and addictions. We are more than what our culture tells us to be. I for one, flunked blind obedience training.

Let’s just see where knowing takes us. Maybe we could make a positive difference here. Maybe with what we choose to eat. Maybe with what we choose to buy. Maybe what we choose to support or participate in.

Maybe we change a little at a time, like embracing Paul McCartney’s Meatless Mondays. Maybe we make a grand leap and go vegan.

Are you willing? Just to see and know? Knowing the truth of a thing–that’s where it all starts.

So, the documentaries I’ve listed below are fascinating, credible sources of information on the unhealthy animal-product based diet we’re accustomed to, and what animal agriculture looks like in the United States.

Fork Over Knives
Fed Up
Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead
PlantPure Nation

Take a look, even if you aren’t ready to change. Just as an act of bravery, as an ethical citizen, on the path of your own evolution. As a human sharing this planet.

Love and Lettuce,

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Vegan Whole Foods Breakfast


Whole foods… “That means no added salt, oil or sugar. Those are not whole foods.” A statement by a local vegan nurse practitioner, given at our local Spring Jumpstart, where the documentary “Plantpure Nation” was shown. Pondering this. Makes sense. And…I feel better, like right-now better. Groovy even.

So, in addition to those listed above, I’m avoiding packaged foods and condiments. I’m reducing grain, avocado, nuts and olives. Looking to lighten my load here. Looking for flight. Energy. Clarity. Focus. Inspiration. I ask a lot, I know. But I’m willing to change in order to possess the dream. Also, I’m going at this easy, scooching a little closer every day, smiling, laughing at my mediocre missteps. It’s all good. It’s only life.

Love and lettuce,

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Siam Eggplant with Coconut Rice


Recipe soon!

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What Magic Tidying Brings


For clarity. For deciding how I want to live my life. For a focused, creative energy flow. For a neat, cozy space, to coax in in the muse!

Love and lettuce,

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Beans Instead of Fat Biscuits!


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